Will Someone Please Hold My Hand?

Today is my official first day of grad school. I'm not as nervous as I was thanks to yesterday's orientation. Still... I find myself wishing I knew more than I did as far as what to expect, what to do, what not to do, etc... Undergrad is so easy because they hold your hand throughout the entire process. No one's holding my hand now, unless I count my other hand. Why is that? Is it because graduate students are considered to be older, more experienced, and more mature than undergraduates and therefore need less cottling? Or is it that they (collectively referring to graduate schools in general) just don't feel like hassling with it, so they don't, and we're left to fend for ourselves? I've only been out of school for 5 years (ok technically 4.5) and I feel lost. I can't imagine what it must be like for people who are older than me, who've been out longer than I have, who are married, have children, work, and/or don't live in the same city as the school. I want desperately for someone to hold my hand, but I don't want to say it too loud. I don't want my fellow students to think I'm incompetant, and I don't want my professors, advisors, etc... to think I'm complaining.

But secretly, I'm still hoping for someone to grab my hand and say, "Come with me. I'll show you the way. And don't worry, everything's going to be just fine."

New Chapter

Classes start in 3 weeks.

I can't believe it. I can't believe I'm going to be packing, moving to a new city, starting school at a new campus. I was more excited 6 months ago than I am now. Now I'm scared. I don't know why either... Other people get scared, but not me. I was so brave when I left Texas for college. My freshman year in Iowa was a miserable one to say the least, but that didn't deter me from moving on to bigger and better things my sophomore year. I loved it! The UNT campus, the town of Denton, Denton Bibile Church. It was great. It was "me". It was what I needed and where I needed to be. Moving to England was even more exciting. A one-way ticket, reservations at a hostel in London, and absolutely NO job prospects was what I had and I couldn't have been happier. I can't believe that the same girl who moved out-of-state for college, then transferred back to the 3rd largest university in Texas, moved to the UK on a wing and a prayer, is now freaking out about moving an hour and a half away from home to go to grad school. I have all my ducks in a row; my financial aid is ready, I have an apartment reserved, I have nothing to worry about. So why is it that I feel like I have everything to worry about???

I know I need to have faith that God is taking care of me.
It's just such a still, small voice compared to the ones in my head rattling off things to worry about...
I need to "take every thought captive".
I need spiritual ear-plugs.