Paranoia

-noun: a painful or apprehensive uneasiness of mind usually over an impending or anticipated ill; a cause of anxiety; an abnormal and overwhelming sense ofapprehension and fear often marked by physiological signs (as sweating, tension, and increased pulse), by doubt concerning the reality and nature of the threat, and by self-doubt about one's capacityto cope with it; extreme, irrational distrust of others; excessive or irrational suspiciousness and distrustfulness of others; distress or uneasiness of mind caused by fear of danger or misfortune; emotional distress, especially that brought on by fear of failure.

In popular terminology, a “paranoid” personality is characterized by suspicion and distrust of others; a tendency to look for hidden meaning behind other people's actions; argumentativeness; complaining; low tolerance for criticism; and a constant display of one's own talents, accomplishments, independence, and rationality.

This is something that I've been struggling with this year. How much can one person take before they start to wonder if, feel like, think that, even assume that everyone is out to get them? I wonder what Job thought when all that bad stuff was happening to him. Did he know that God and Satan had made a deal? If he had known, would it have a made a difference? How was he able to keep praising God through the storm? Did he know just enough or was he ignorant just enough that he was able to have faith that God still loved him and wanted what was best for him despite everything that was happening to him and his family? I get mad when I stub my toe... I don't how he did it. I know God doesn't expect us to be Job, but he is an example for us, right?

I don't know how he did it...