Tomorrow is New Year's Eve...
It's funny. For the last month, all I could think of was getting back home. I was home for Thanksgiving, and it was awful to have to leave and go back to school for another month. Knowing that I only had a few more weeks and then I would be home-free for a month was the light at the end of the tunnel. Now that I'm home, I realize the light was a ruse. It really wasn't a light at all. I feel like I jumped from the frying pan to the fire, home being the fire. It seems like nothing has stopped going wrong since I got here.
It makes me wonder if I'm cursed. Perhaps I have a cloud of negative energy following me around. I guess I shouldn't be surprised. The month of December has never been a pleasant one for the Scott clan. As far back as I can remember, it's always been a pretty miserable month. I know what you're thinking- it's my attitude, right? I just need to be more positive thoughts. If I do, things would go better. Well, I hate to break it to you, but this is what happens when I am positive. I shudder to think what would happen if I was indeed negative. Perhaps WW III? Every year, the holidays suck at my house. And yet, every year, I find myself excited and hopeful and dare I say eager for the holidays to arrive. My anticipation sets in at a different time each year. This year it hit in August, no doubt because I moved to San Marcos that month and was homesick for my family and animals. Despite the irregularity in which I experience the sudden onset of this anticipation, it's a given that it will happen.
I've given some thought to the situation and this is my analysis thus far. I am a sensitive person when it comes to sensory perception. I'm not sure how I would rank compared to others, but I have a feeling that I am very much above the average person. This sensitivity is two-fold. First, my senses are stronger than most peoples', particularly my senses of smell and hearing. If I had to rank my senses in order of strength, it would be as follows: 1) smell 2) hearing 3) touch 4) sight 5) taste The second part of my sensitivity is the correlation between my sensory intake and my emotional responses to it. Certain smells, sounds, sensations, and sights evoke extremely emotional responses within me. That being said, I believe I am probably in somewhat of an emotional "overdrive" when it comes to the holiday season, as related sights, smells, and sounds abound. These things cause me to experience a sense of elation when I encounter them, and this takes place regardless of what is happening to me personally at the time.
Another dimension of this is the creative aspect of my personality. A friend of mine and I were talking a while back about depression, as he and I had both struggled with it. He pointed out that people in the performing and visual arts- artists, performers, entertainers -struggle with depression more than others. It's true. I have yet to meet an artist, dancer, musician, or actor who didn't struggle with depression. He went on to explain that people who are creative have the ability to experience things within a much broader emotional spectrum than others, which is beneficial in terms of producing creative works. The flip side is that the emotional highs and lows a creative person experiences can be difficult to handle. Between my ultra-sensitive senses and my creativity, I suppose it's only natural to be so affected by something as simple as the sound of jingle bells.
That being said, it just so happens that, for whatever reason, December seems to be the month when everything that can go wrong does. From breaking up with boyfriends to the septic tank exploding to the stomach flu, December has always been a bittersweet month for me. Despite the crummy stuff that's happened over the years, the sight of green and red everywhere seems to trump it every year, and I find myself holding out that maybe this year is the year Christmas will be normal. So here's to disaster and the smell of cinnamon.
PS- I turned 28 this month. =D
It's funny. For the last month, all I could think of was getting back home. I was home for Thanksgiving, and it was awful to have to leave and go back to school for another month. Knowing that I only had a few more weeks and then I would be home-free for a month was the light at the end of the tunnel. Now that I'm home, I realize the light was a ruse. It really wasn't a light at all. I feel like I jumped from the frying pan to the fire, home being the fire. It seems like nothing has stopped going wrong since I got here.
It makes me wonder if I'm cursed. Perhaps I have a cloud of negative energy following me around. I guess I shouldn't be surprised. The month of December has never been a pleasant one for the Scott clan. As far back as I can remember, it's always been a pretty miserable month. I know what you're thinking- it's my attitude, right? I just need to be more positive thoughts. If I do, things would go better. Well, I hate to break it to you, but this is what happens when I am positive. I shudder to think what would happen if I was indeed negative. Perhaps WW III? Every year, the holidays suck at my house. And yet, every year, I find myself excited and hopeful and dare I say eager for the holidays to arrive. My anticipation sets in at a different time each year. This year it hit in August, no doubt because I moved to San Marcos that month and was homesick for my family and animals. Despite the irregularity in which I experience the sudden onset of this anticipation, it's a given that it will happen.
I've given some thought to the situation and this is my analysis thus far. I am a sensitive person when it comes to sensory perception. I'm not sure how I would rank compared to others, but I have a feeling that I am very much above the average person. This sensitivity is two-fold. First, my senses are stronger than most peoples', particularly my senses of smell and hearing. If I had to rank my senses in order of strength, it would be as follows: 1) smell 2) hearing 3) touch 4) sight 5) taste The second part of my sensitivity is the correlation between my sensory intake and my emotional responses to it. Certain smells, sounds, sensations, and sights evoke extremely emotional responses within me. That being said, I believe I am probably in somewhat of an emotional "overdrive" when it comes to the holiday season, as related sights, smells, and sounds abound. These things cause me to experience a sense of elation when I encounter them, and this takes place regardless of what is happening to me personally at the time.
Another dimension of this is the creative aspect of my personality. A friend of mine and I were talking a while back about depression, as he and I had both struggled with it. He pointed out that people in the performing and visual arts- artists, performers, entertainers -struggle with depression more than others. It's true. I have yet to meet an artist, dancer, musician, or actor who didn't struggle with depression. He went on to explain that people who are creative have the ability to experience things within a much broader emotional spectrum than others, which is beneficial in terms of producing creative works. The flip side is that the emotional highs and lows a creative person experiences can be difficult to handle. Between my ultra-sensitive senses and my creativity, I suppose it's only natural to be so affected by something as simple as the sound of jingle bells.
That being said, it just so happens that, for whatever reason, December seems to be the month when everything that can go wrong does. From breaking up with boyfriends to the septic tank exploding to the stomach flu, December has always been a bittersweet month for me. Despite the crummy stuff that's happened over the years, the sight of green and red everywhere seems to trump it every year, and I find myself holding out that maybe this year is the year Christmas will be normal. So here's to disaster and the smell of cinnamon.
PS- I turned 28 this month. =D
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